Here’s a proper stereotype about Canadians: our cable networks suck. Here are five reasons why.
Urban Dictonary calls it a “waste of space”, I call it the best youth network ever. As the male-focused counterpart of MTV, MTV2 boasts lifestyle programming that, shockingly enough, actually taught me something about life! Of all the syndicated shows you can have on a network, MTV2 just happens to have the one of best rosters, right up there with TBS. Now if only they would air more music videos and less shitty movies (ie. Vampires Suck).
Now THIS is what I’d call a Comedy Network. I don’t know how, but TBS managed to nab the rights to the funniest sitcoms ever made and mangled them together onto one network. Then they take the next step and produce their own original shows which, while not very notable, all have their share of fans. It all came full circle when those Bell Media scumbags starting buying the rights to their shows for MuchMusic and The Comedy Network, while American Dad made a channel hop for a new season. It’s a no contest, TBS is the B.E.S…T.
3) Cartoon Network/Adult Swim
I said it before, I’ll say it again. Networks like Cartoon Network have something that YTV lacks: maturity. In what TVTropes calls “The Post-CNReal era”, the network has produced shows that are living proof that cartoons aren’t’ just for kids. If they’re well-written and produced with love (sue me), they’ll have fans of all ages (and the ratings to go with them).
Unfortunately, Adult Swim’s original lineup didn’t really follow suit, but that’s only because maturity isn’t their style. They’re edgy, unique, and irreverent, everything advertisers wish other networks would be like. Their original shows are still a hoot to watch, both animated and live-action. And, of course, with Toonami handling action programming, it’s the best place to be on Saturday Nights.
How do you run a music network without living in the stone age? Do you look for music-related shows? Do you mix music videos with a bunch of pop culture crap? Or do you just live in the moment?
Apparently, it’s option three, because that’s Revolt in a nutshell. There’s no acquired programming or movies and there’s no glorified videoblocks. Instead, we get news and documentaries based on current events. Not current events as in “whatever shit celebrities are doing”, current events as in the Ferguson shooting. …Yep. Revolt is like the antitheses of the modern music network. Even when it’s doing something different, it’s still worth your while. Here’s hoping the channel grows.
5) El Rey Network
This one caught me off guard. I mean, aren’t cult movies IFC’s thing? El Rey Network is a celebration of all things awesome. There’s no cliched dramas here, nothing but the best damn shows and movies ever made. If I were to go on, it would sound like I was doing some sort paid advertisement. Just look up their lineup, check out their original shows, and tell me that you don’t wish any of the Canadian networks I’m stuck with would just grow a pair!
Other networks worth mentioning: Syfy (Because SmackDown is now officially the black sheep), Disney 😄 (Because it’s better than Disney Channel), “The New” truTV (Because they finally stopped jumping on bandwagons), Esquire Network (Because it’s the best lifestyle network no one will ever watch), Funimation Channel (Because it’s the only anime network on TV), IFC (Because they have great movies and funny shows), and A&E (Because even G4 looked better).